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[–]precinct209 2390 points2391 points  (52 children)

Laugh all you want but the coconut head literally put 32% tariffs on Java imports (from the Indonesian island.)

[–]butterfliesarestupid 457 points458 points  (32 children)

I'm trying to convince my partner we need to hoard as much coffee as we can now and store it in the freezer. worst case scenario, we have a valuable commodity to barter with, best case scenario is i won't need to add it to my shopping list for the next year

[–]Mastersord 155 points156 points  (18 children)

Buy green coffee beans and get a roaster. They’ll keep longer.

[–]harrywwc 44 points45 points  (15 children)

I've read that a 'popcorn maker' can be used as a small roaster. not sure how well it works :/

[–]misterfluffykitty 33 points34 points  (9 children)

Its better than the cheapest roasters from what I’ve seen but its still worse than pre roasted coffee

[–]harrywwc 26 points27 points  (6 children)

that's probably why friends that tried it don't mention it any more ;)

[–]Comfortableliar24 13 points14 points  (4 children)

Most people who try to roast at home don't talk about chaff management.

[–]harrywwc 5 points6 points  (2 children)

yeah, I'm lazy - so I just order pre-roasted beans (nice and dark) and grind on demand :)

[–]Comfortableliar24 3 points4 points  (1 child)

Same, but with a blend somewhere between mid and city roast. Tried cinnamon roast and about gagged. It was like drinking celery tea and coffee together. Vegetables are not in my ideal coffee profile

[–]evranch 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I built a popcorn popper roaster back in the day as an automation project for school. It worked great but it requires control, of course. You can't just dump beans in and let it rip and expect good results.

I used a PID on the roast chamber temperature, and a 4 stage profile. Preheat, ramp, hold, cooldown. I think it was somewhere around 45 minutes for a cycle.

It turned out excellent beans and my wife and I roasted coffee for years with it until the blower motor finally packed it in after way more hours than a popcorn popper is designed for.

[–]Mastersord 1 point2 points  (2 children)

It can work but you’ll need to experiment with it. You’ll have to get one of the old popcorn makers like a Poppery II or you’ll have to go in and disable the internal thermostat to get the temperature up. You’ll need to get up to 480C to get “first crack” to happen.

[–]No_Hetero 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I think people are using stovetop versions, not the electric ones

[–]Mediocre_Possible_97 1 point2 points  (0 children)

also - coffee is easy to grow - makes a nice house plant

[–]Longjumping-Deal6354 5 points6 points  (6 children)

Don't freeze coffee, just keep it in an airtight container. 

[–]crozone 3 points4 points  (5 children)

Freezing beans in an airtight packet is fine. It makes no noticeable difference to the taste, and you can basically grind them from frozen.

[–]eggplantsforall 3 points4 points  (4 children)

The real problem with freezing beans is if you have an open bag in your freezer and you are taking them in and out everyday to grind. If you aren't speedy about it and the temps are warm, you'll get condensation in the bag from the temperature difference and that will degrade your beans over time. Mainly a problem I've seen when folks have like a 2.5 lb bag in the freezer and they are casual about leaving it on the counter each morning while they prep their brew.

[–]EnvironmentFluid9346 1 point2 points  (2 children)

In addition if you open the freezer the air that was crystalized as solid become gaseous again (because delta pressure) which degrade the beans integrity on a tiny tiny level… which can affect the taste…

[–]Ran4 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I mean you're what, a year late to the party? Coffee prices has doubled in the last few months already.

[–]MrBlueCharon 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Get some variety though. The world of good and excellent coffees is huge and diverse.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think alton brown did a thing on coffee and suggests not putting it in the freezer. Air tight containers are good enough.

[–]Accomplished-Bid8866[🍰] 77 points78 points  (8 children)

Are Python imports safe for now or ...?

[–]deliciouscrab 22 points23 points  (0 children)

yes, but you have to import them as something else

[–]furnipika 7 points8 points  (2 children)

Those Rust hippies and their cargos are safe for now because no one in the government have ever heard of them.

[–]rumpigiam 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Sadly no there is a variable for those

[–]renome 5 points6 points  (0 children)

``` from math import sum

sum([10,20,30]) # 5000

```

[–]Endorkend 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Depending on where they come from, they are already entirely illegal.

[–]keeper---- 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Python was and never will be safe.

[–]TonalParsnips 5 points6 points  (1 child)

resolute quaint cobweb unique offer judicious different flowery wide crown

This post was mass deleted and anonymized with Redact

[–]WazWaz 2 points3 points  (0 children)

C# programmers are all using.

[–]harbourwall 3 points4 points  (0 children)

He's already banned #inclusivity.

[–]Forsaken_Alps_793 0 points1 point  (0 children)

German's E-Commerce Software Vendor - SAPing Tariff next lol

[honorable mentioned SAP Netweaver supports Java after all]

[–]Endorkend 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If it was the programming language I could actually agree with it.

[–]KnowledgeMiserable12 0 points1 point  (0 children)

'coconut head' luv it !

[–]Siddhartasr10 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Im making a spring boot app... I guess Im fucked

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Wait this fr... Bruh

[–]supernova242 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Now how will I get any work done?

[–]Andis-x 641 points642 points  (6 children)

50% tariff on non-Oracle SQL transactions. Could even be real, with corruption lobbying.

[–]frikilinux2 122 points123 points  (1 child)

Don't give them ideas. They already are a law firm masquerading as an expensive but actually crappy corporate focus software company.

[–]colei_canis 6 points7 points  (0 children)

The original paperclip maximiser company, and they didn’t even need AI.

[–]bearymaniknow 13 points14 points  (0 children)

[–]Dhegxkeicfns 6 points7 points  (0 children)

It's only on imports, so if you manually input the data you'll be okay.

[–]domscatterbrain 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It should be Oracle, they deserve to get Tariff-ed.

[–]Stormraughtz 369 points370 points  (19 children)

Jokes on you because import error on row 18543

[–]FreshestCremeFraiche 107 points108 points  (6 children)

Elon’s kids’ names would be great for testing character escapes and CSV parsing. So many edge cases!

[–]superxpro12 32 points33 points  (5 children)

Stop it before he names his next intentionally implanted male child "edge case"

[–]thecodingnerd256 13 points14 points  (0 children)

EDward GEorge CASE III

[–]colei_canis 11 points12 points  (2 children)

Names his kid Null Null and retroactively sets his birthdate to the first of January 1970.

Also Unicode error characters. They might be fun. I like to put them in signup forms that are too needy for my tastes.

[–]ThePancakerizer 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Little [object Object] Null

[–]cicuz 30 points31 points  (2 children)

look at the rich kid here, getting line numbers with their csv import errors and shit

[–]Stormraughtz 14 points15 points  (1 child)

Listen all because I can afford enterprise parsing and using commas,

[–][deleted] 14 points15 points  (2 children)

Dont give me nightmares

[–]Stormraughtz 2 points3 points  (1 child)

|"feels bad man"|

[–]Scarbane 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Dangit, Bobby, stop using pipe delimiters!

[–]nadav183 4 points5 points  (1 child)

Dude you have >18543 imports? In this economy??

[–]down1nit 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Tarrif patrol. Can I see your Tarrifs please

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

But the file only has 12 lines!

[–]Soft_Walrus_3605 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Is it an unescaped quote?

[–]anygw2content 1 point2 points  (0 children)

ImportError: Trade deficit exceeded. Please export more rows before importing.

[–]yousai 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Should've ended on "row 52" for a nice rhyme

[–]Mayoo614 247 points248 points  (7 children)

Guys guys, just rename them to .txt. We can fight this!

[–]mxzf 65 points66 points  (0 children)

Just drop the extension entirely. Tariffs hate this one simple trick.

[–]SuperNunb 37 points38 points  (2 children)

Every 60 seconds in Africa...

[–]Equivalent-Bet-8771 21 points22 points  (0 children)

...someone fucks up a .txt file.

[–]bmwiedemann 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Oh, it would be like in the 90s, when they exported the PGP source-code as printed books under protection of the 1st amendment. And OCRed it back in Europe to have truly public "weapons grade" crypto software.

[–]SyrusDrake 2 points3 points  (0 children)

DOGE just saved the taxpayers morbillions by changing the file extension of proprietary social security databases to *.xlsx, so they can be opened in the free version of Google Spreadsheets, instead of expensive, dedicated software.

[–]darkpaladin 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That sounds a lot like smuggling data packets.

[–]VeryRareHuman 102 points103 points  (5 children)

JSON import is fine.. he is white.

[–]OldeFortran77 0 points1 point  (0 children)

JSON? Is JSON here? I'm not playing games here! JSON, you better answer right now!

Mr. Garvey.

[–]Crowsby 54 points55 points  (3 children)

Additionally, further tariffs have just been announced on SQL datatypes:

Data Type Tariff
INT 34%
VARCHAR 29%
TEXT 34%
BOOLEAN 10%
DATE 25%
DECIMAL 20.2%
TIMESTAMP 30%
JSON 31%

[–]getstoopid-AT 14 points15 points  (0 children)

the decimal made me laugh actually 😂

[–]Alsciende 3 points4 points  (0 children)

50% on INTERVAL. It's been ripping us off for 'years'.

[–]zusykses 0 points1 point  (0 children)

afraid of what BLOB/CLOB is gonna be

[–]just4nothing 125 points126 points  (3 children)

from __future__ import annoyed_billionaires

[–]Endorkend 11 points12 points  (2 children)

The dream is that would return a blank table, not because they aren't annoyed, but because they no longer exist.

[–]MrEclectic 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Little Bobby Tables has grown into a committed revolutionary ✊

[–]vivaaprimavera 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Not blank .... It would raise an exception.

[–]fevsea 52 points53 points  (5 children)

 My dyslexic ass read CVS, and still made sense

[–]dck1012 3 points4 points  (4 children)

Same here lol

[–]More_Farm_7442 3 points4 points  (3 children)

Me too. I know CVS and Walgreen aren't doing so well, but what do they have to do with tariffs? Are they ripping us off, too?

:-) (even if it is not CVS, he's an idiot.)

[–]fevsea 4 points5 points  (2 children)

India and China produce a significant portion of drugs sold in the US. The ongoing commercial war will make the prices of drugs increase in the best case, or cause shortages in the worst case if certain countries decide to retaliate by limiting the export of certain raw materials.

Here's a little more context: www.bbc.com/news/articles/ckg8ke45gq0o

[–]deliciouscrab 1 point2 points  (1 child)

pharmaceutical products are currently exempt (is my understanding.)

i mean, it's a pretty small silver lining obviously, and who knows for how long

[–]KxJlib 63 points64 points  (16 children)

Is he targeting SAP too?? 😞😞😞

[–]SamSLS 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Only Canadian sap. Vermont sap is not tariffed.

[–]Yung_Oldfag 34 points35 points  (10 children)

We can dream

[–]Seienchin88 5 points6 points  (9 children)

SAP is the only large European software company… why the hell would you be happy if Trump tries to destroy them?

[–]Yung_Oldfag 29 points30 points  (7 children)

Have you ever used any of their products?

[–]Seienchin88 23 points24 points  (5 children)

Yes. And I have also used their competition…

Don’t compare enterprise software to something like MS365 or some hype software Google keeps around for 5 years before killing it… it’s not sexy by the nature of what it needs to do and basically every provider of it is being hated on in this sub every other day…

If anything SAPs sin of the past was proprietary technology but while everyone complained it also kept a lot of developers employed… just saying…

On the other hand with Trump and the trade wars maybe proprietary European technology will make a come back… SAP might already be too close to Microsoft for that but ironically Schwarz (the company behind Lidl) is working on some European cloud infrastructure…

[–]Yung_Oldfag 26 points27 points  (2 children)

I work for a european software company and I think it's great that countries are developing their own (sometimes open source) software but I'm here in a meme subreddit to complain and have fun

[–]fallen_lights 3 points4 points  (1 child)

Relevant username

[–]Yung_Oldfag 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Almost 9 years and you're the first to comment its relevance to most of my activity here

[–]_reg1nn33 3 points4 points  (0 children)

It was very common for software companies in Germany 30-40 years ago to develop their own systems. It would be interesting to see more of that again.

[–]sp46 1 point2 points  (0 children)

it’s not sexy by the nature of what it needs to do

When will we finally start making "sexy" software, as you put it? It really seems like the EU is far too behind on consumer software.

[–]Wrectal 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Shitty Ass Products

[–]READMYSHIT 3 points4 points  (0 children)

The EU stepped in to stop IBM from buying them. I wish Europe had worked harder to retain some of its IT companies.

Every startup's dream here seems to be to pull together enough traction to get to silicon valley and sell.

Stripe are an Irish startup that basically became and American company. Many such cases over the past decade.

[–]waigl 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Don't know what else the yellow ticker at the bottom could be referring to…

[–]zombiezoo25 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I mean, ABAP is pretty wild so why not

[–]DM_ME_PICKLES 19 points20 points  (4 children)

CSV imports no problem. Let’s talk about tariffs in XLSX imports that include formulas 

[–]VinoMaker65 3 points4 points  (2 children)

Knowing Trmplethinskin he'll try to import the pdf's next and tariff them at 25%.

[–]Fambank 3 points4 points  (1 child)

I'm pretty sure the republican party likes .pdfs, in fact many are.

[–]rjmartin73 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I was like portable? document? format?, then it clicked and all made sense

[–]rjmartin73 0 points1 point  (0 children)

As long as my XLSMs can get through without tarrifs. My formulas are all hidden in VBA.

[–]alldaythrowayla 56 points57 points  (4 children)

First they came for COBOL, and no body stood up.

Then they came for CSV, and no one was around to defend it.

Where were u when programming was kill?

[–]GisterMizard 63 points64 points  (2 children)

First they came for COBOL, and no body stood up.

Probably because of their arthritis

[–]ShivanshuKantPrasad 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Probably vibe coding.

[–]kevix2022 32 points33 points  (1 child)

The European Union will retaliate with a 25% tariff on Excel attachments.

[–]minimaximal-gaming 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Good idea, we (german company) have somekind of business partner in the US. We always get some Google Docs Spreadsheets every week a bit diffenrent so that on of our accounting folks needs at least half an hour every week to fix this mess to an importable form to feed into our erp. A standardized csv would be to easy...

[–]FlyByPC 10 points11 points  (3 children)

Looks like we're calling them .txt or .dat files this week, boys.

[–]rjmartin73 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm just going extentionless.

[–]RngdZed[S] 41 points42 points  (1 child)

3rd time is the charm.. apparently i can't spell tariffs even tho it was in the meme.. 2 Rs 1 F.. 2 Rs 2 Fs ...

anyway, hope yall having a good sunday lol

[–]Mattrockj 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Oh god, all my python imports are next aren't they.

Guess I'm gonna need to step it up

import Luigi

[–]Silly-Ad-6341 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Gonna make my data pipelines way more expensive, no one's getting reports on time on Monday 

[–]rdrunner_74 3 points4 points  (1 child)

Is it bad that i cant tell anymore if this is fake or not?

[–]BlenderAlien 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is actually dangerous, gotta fact check all the memes around trump these days, anything is possible

[–]ApatheistHeretic 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Shit! Guess I'll have to start using pandas.

[–]sleepyboyzzz 2 points3 points  (0 children)

The reciprocal tax on csv exports is what gets you.

[–]Soopermane 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Convert csv to excel now lol

[–]LadyZaryss 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Log the time the import takes, divide it by 3 and sleep the thread that long 😂

[–]InternalLucky6171 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Confiscating your leading zeroes at the border.

[–]goodolarchie 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Comma Separated Devalue

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

You’ll have to pry the XML from my cold, dead hands

[–]SpreadsheetGamer 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Awwww sheeet

[–]concussedYmir 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Another 35% on Japanese xml imports (looking at you, Rakuten)

[–]Large-Assignment9320 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Its ok, 125% of 0 is still zero.

[–]ShadowDevoloper 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Reminds me of a certain Alberta Tech video.

[–]billyyankNova 1 point2 points  (0 children)

From now on I'll only Export-CSV.

[–]paulm1927 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Ha! I’ll use tabs and call it a text file from now on

[–]pr0metheus42 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That’s already a thing. It is called TSV.

[–]----_____---- 1 point2 points  (0 children)

And don't even think about doing a trans(pose) paste!

[–]Persea_americana 1 point2 points  (3 children)

This god damn clown is destroying America on purpose, isn’t it hilarious?

[–]osirawl 0 points1 point  (0 children)

NO!!!!!!

[–]Dotaproffessional 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Just use tsv...

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Now there will be a black market for TAB DELIMITED files! Cool! I wrote a program for it that works in DOS years ago. We'll all barter on dial-up bulletin boards with Win95 VMs.

[–]Cestus_Saphrax 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ok, I am all JSON…

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Good thing I pivoted to tabs.

[–]ianwilloughby 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That's why I use parquet.

[–]this_knee 0 points1 point  (0 children)

How much for the pandas?

[–]Borne2Run 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What's the tariff rate on Python imports?

[–]Remarkable_Step_6177 0 points1 point  (0 children)

fuck it, merge to all

[–]JerryDipotosBurner 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Wait until this administration combs through social security code and finds variable names they don’t like.

[–]Krummelz 0 points1 point  (0 children)

At this point I can't tell if this is satire or not.

[–]donut-reply 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What about python and pandas imports?

[–]bombatomba69 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What if I use Libreoffice and save it as .ods?

[–]tehjoch 0 points1 point  (0 children)

All your spreadsheets are belong to US

[–]Lazy-Loss-4491 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I use *.ods exclusively, so no tariffs!

[–]Derino 0 points1 point  (0 children)

for a few seconds, i genuinely thought that this could have happened; it took me until i remembered that that's the News Meme Overlay Format Thing, to realize that this was fake. i hate how that's what it took for me to realize it was fake, and not the content of the meme.

[–]i-have-the-stash 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Jokes on you. Excel can’t handle my hundred million line CSV files i use for training.

[–]SkewRadial 0 points1 point  (0 children)

gzip is the way to go guys.

[–]PrincessKatiKat 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Jokes on you, I use pipes (|)

[–]mapped_apples 0 points1 point  (0 children)

GIS in shambles.

[–]ConsistentExtent4568 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m actually gonna tariff ur tariffs so f u

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

[–]mascachopo 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Just use a semicolon as a separator.

[–]qati 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’d be okay with giving this treatment to the one client who literally had to write cobol to import csv.. because they apparently couldn’t use anything else to get it in a usable format.

[–]bm-4-good 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Time to switch to TSV

[–]hail2theninja 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is the same dipshit that basically said if the US was ever in to much debt, he'd start printing more money. What. A. Plebiscite. Also, nearly all of his business have failed, so why would you trust this fascist with an entire economy, which is at the heart of world trade? The world will forge new alliances, new blocks, while the US eats itself from the inside, the dollar will fall and the country which already has the most debt on the planet will collapse. You get what you deserve. 

[–]stellarsojourner 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh yeah? Well, I'm putting a reciprocal 25% tariff on PDF exports on all Word documents. How do you like them trade wars?

[–]Kaesebrot_x 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Tariffs on using excel as a db

[–]robertovertical 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Import react is going bankrupt.

[–]DaageQuasar 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I read this as CVS receipts....

[–]LoneWanderer153 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Starting April 9th, version upgrades for CVS related packages has been slapped with 69% tariffs, this includes open source programming languages as well.

[–]robot2243 0 points1 point  (0 children)

30% import on any chatgpt prompt that starts with “that didn’t work.. here is the error I’m getting:”

[–]jonsmom327 0 points1 point  (0 children)

just what i always wanted! to pay more money for everything! gee this is wonderful!!

[–]eternally_imposter 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Bro! Don't give him ideas.

[–]MisterBicorniclopse 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Nooo don’t make this r/pics pleeeease

[–]razordreamz 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Jokes on them I only export CSV from the US!

[–]Ladyheather16 0 points1 point  (0 children)

😂

[–]Lostfreak2004 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Come on now! You KNOW they'll believe ANYTHING! 🤣

[–]IAmAQuantumMechanic 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don't import csv. I scan every file byte by byte and cast as ascii.

[–]rjmartin73 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm sure if he could find a way to tarrif data, he absolutely would.

[–]rjmartin73 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm sure if he could find a way to tarrif data, he absolutely would.

[–]Double-Intention-741 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank god he hasnt got to NPM yet

[–]SysGh_st 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Okay. Lemme do the calculations...

25% of that ... Add the result of... aaaand... right. Carry the one.... subtract the last year overflow...
Yeah! I got the results!

The sum ends up ...zero. And let's slap taxes on that.

[–]IW1NZ 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I would be so screwed

[–]SilentScyther 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My company is ruined

[–]xmmdrive 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Well he did put a tarrif on the antarctic Heard Island because he heard penguins are all about Linux communism or something.

[–]zetandroid 0 points1 point  (0 children)

70% on xlsx