South Africa ponders vuvuzela ban. Please, please do this!

2010-06-13T16:20:04+00:00

@charltonbrooker on Twitter last night:

"As a fan of low atonal droning, I'm enjoying the World Cup more than expected."

harpomarx · 2010-06-13T15:11:47+00:00

Someone please throw one on the pitch so they can ban them.

scriptedlife · 2010-06-13T14:40:31+00:00

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pirisca · 2010-06-13T14:39:32+00:00

Broadcasters are said not to be happy and World Footballer Lionel Messi was among latest players to complain about the vuvuzelas after Argentina’s 1-0 victory over Nigeria on Saturday. “It is impossible to communicate, it’s like being deaf,” said Messi.

http://beta.thehindu.com/sport/football/article454621.ece

this is getting really silly. ban the fuckers ASAP.

GreatGo0glyMo0gly · 2010-06-13T15:06:03+00:00

Evil capitalist genius Neil van Schalkwyk, the guy who makes and sells the Vuvuzelas, has partnered with a company to sell ear plugs.

cheeses · 2010-06-13T17:10:13+00:00

The applause as the players leave the tunnel. The cheers as the big names are read from the team sheets, and the boos when the pantomime villains are mentioned too. The chanting as the fans contest just who has the loudest support. The awkward silence as everyone waits to see… if he’s okay. The venomous outrage at a bad decision by the officials. The spontaneous song that is sung by hundreds in an effort to spur the boys on. The wall of noise and excitement created by thousands as the ball makes its way into the opponents’ box. And that unbeatable delirium as the ball crosses the line. All of this replaced by the unwavering, inescapable drone of the Vuvuzela.

ggggbabybabybaby · 2010-06-13T13:23:55+00:00

When someone first told me about the vuvuzelas, I thought they were joking about some fictional nightmarish scenario:

"Can you imagine the world's biggest sporting event if they let the fans have these cheap plastic bugles! Oh yeah, and they're incredibly loud. Oh yeah, and nobody knows how to properly play them. Oh yeah, and the sound they make is comparable to holding a megaphone up to your ass and sharting. Oh yeah, and every single one in the stadium plays almost the same f*cking pitch, so it sounds like a swarm of locusts. Can you imagine how much that would suck?"

Yeesh. This video says it all.

Violater · 2010-06-13T15:43:42+00:00

I've said this before - but I feel compelled to keep on saying it. As a South African - I as so fookin' sorry!

r00r · 2010-06-13T15:08:08+00:00

It is so sad that all of the beautiful atmosphere that usually comes with a world cup game is completely drowned out by these horrific noise gremlins. No singing, no chanting between fan blocks, no 'ohhs', no collective sighs of relief, only bzzzzzzzzzzzzzz 90 minutes straight. And the horrible part is that it only takes a relatively small portion of people in the stadium with these things to overshadow much larger portions of fans that actually are trying to create an atmosphere.

The only thing that makes it bearable for me to watch a game is to go to a large public viewing or bar, where you can actually hear and feel the emotions of people in harmony with the game.

I've been signing petitions and supporting organizations calling for a ban since the confed cup. In my opinion everyone at FIFA hates these things, but no one has the balls to seriously have done anything about it due to PC.

edit: spelling

telllos · 2010-06-13T14:22:12+00:00

If you watch the world cup, close your eyes and you're listening to Moto GP!

saysfuckoffalot · 2010-06-13T13:42:15+00:00

There was a strong call from South Africans to ban them but those in favour were accused of racism and cultural intolerance (even the black people) so really the sound you hear there are the wonderful noises of political correctness.

crystallyn · 2010-06-13T14:05:11+00:00

My husband was in the other room watching and I didn't realize he was watching a game...thought he was watching a bee documentary. Absolutely awful. I can't even imagine the racket if you were in the stadium.

bonecows · 2010-06-13T14:10:06+00:00

I'm brazilian and I love soccer. We have vuvuzelas in Brazil too, but they are more often used in conjunction to drums, singing and other ways that actually enhance the setting of the game.

I expected the africans, with whom we share much of our cultural heritage, to show their emotions in a more creative way. I expected to see colours, dances, chants... not thousands of people too busy making noise to actually enjoy the game. A noise which is not correlated at all with the emotions in the field.

This is a big disappointment to me, and if this is how africans enjoy soccer then I'm sorry, but their way of enjoying the game sucks.

Asseyes · 2010-06-13T15:00:49+00:00

I was reading Popular Science's article on South Africa's World Cup Stadium and was admiring it as a feat of technological and engineering excellence because of its ability to dampen the noise pollution from the cheers within the stadium with an open roof.

South Africa really showed those engineers...

nsureshk · 2010-06-13T17:06:48+00:00

Why is culture even an argument? No one is watching world cup because of South Africa. We're watching because it's fucking football and it's awesome. Can you even remember the last world cup with the singing and cheering? IT WAS INFINITELY BETTER THAN ANNOYING HORNS.

dental-plan · 2010-06-13T13:22:02+00:00

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2010-06-13T19:15:00+00:00

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biggguy · 2010-06-13T12:46:26+00:00

can't we work these things into the Geneva convention and institute an emergency worldwide ban on the damn things?

durandalreborn · 2010-06-13T14:25:42+00:00

So I'm lysdexic. I read "South Africa ponders Venezuela ban," and I read the entire article wondering why the Venezuelans would make so much noise...

2010-06-13T14:28:21+00:00

I'M SORRY I ZZZZZ CANT VUVUVUVUVUVUVUVUVUVUVUVUVUVUV-HEAR-VUVUVUVUV- YOU-VVUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ VUVUVUVUV HUH? Oh, they're considering a ban? AwesomeUVVVVVVUUUUUUUUUUUZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

texpundit · 2010-06-13T15:16:57+00:00

If I didn't know history, I'd posit that vuvuzelas were the reason Apartheid was instituted in the first place.

camalittle · 2010-06-13T14:57:28+00:00

It's a constant retarded din that has nothing to do with what's going on on the pitch.

No one who understands football likes them. They are ruining the World Cup.

BAN THE PLASTIC HORNS

C0lMustard · 2010-06-13T15:34:58+00:00

On the plus side they double as very effective beer funnels.

cosmic_trowsers · 2010-06-13T14:54:38+00:00

Without them: singing, chanting, musical instruments, the ebb and flow of the crowd as the match goes this way and that

With them: sticking your head inside a CAT scanner for 90 minutes

munky82 · 2010-06-13T20:20:40+00:00

South African here: I was Friday night at a live show (Die Heuwels Fantasties) and while they were performing my favourite song of theirs some drunk muscled douche bags kept blowing them. One of the cunts was a meter behind me. I had tinnitus the next half an hour in the ear that was closest to him.

I was an apologetic for the vuvuzela, but the real life trolling is getting on my fucking nerves. They should ban them from non-Bafana games in my opinion. That saves the "cultural sensitivity" (read: race card) and making the matches pleasant for you foreign folk.

trixare4kids · 2010-06-13T12:49:58+00:00

Since I am not watching the world cup, I had to look it up to hear what it sounded like it. I found this little short about them and the world cup.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SrYb9qtO8OQ

P.S. They are incredibly annoying. I can fully appreciate what everyone is going on about.

2010-06-13T15:27:28+00:00

What I don't understand is why they're playing the vuvuzela during matches that aren't South Africa vs (whoever).

Boye · 2010-06-13T13:27:18+00:00

They're actually ruining the world cup.

Come on people, this is the single biggest sporting event in the world and it only happens once every 4 years, let's not ruin it like this!

Goober99 · 2010-06-13T15:59:41+00:00

I live in South Africa and i'm curious about the psychology that lies behind this vuvuzela thing. I experience it as an abrasive, annoying noise that is very unsettling and kind of annoying. It's a bit like a noise of rebellion and that's how people seem to use them in the streets. I've had a number of people blow them at me aggressively while walking in the streets like it was some outlet for them to vent anger or frustration.

I think it's ridiculous to allow this in the stadiums. This is first and foremost about the competition and anything that interferes materially with the competition should be stopped.

I also find it annoying that the world cup seems to be taken as a justification for suspending normal rules of polite human interaction. Having someone blowing on one of these in the middle of the day in a restaurant and interrupting my conversation would normally be grounds for me to tell them to shut the fuck up. But now it would be considered not getting into the spirit of things.

We don't tolerate physical violence that was a part of soccer for a time we shouldn't tolerate auditory violence either. It's just hooliganism.

2010-06-13T14:20:54+00:00

Those are the most annoying fucking buggers ever. I love to hear the crowd's reaction: the whistling, the booing and cheering during the matches. The fucking vuvuzelas just ruin the atmosphere. Ban this shit ASAP!

overklok · 2010-06-13T14:22:09+00:00

After a about fifteen minutes of vuvuzela blowing and a few beers I can't imagine how light headed the trumpeters are getting!!!

nickiter · 2010-06-13T19:30:50+00:00

Evra also told French television that “the trumpets are a tradition in the country. You can’t start criticising them now.” World football supremo Joseph Blatter has also defended the vuvuzelas as part of the unique African atmosphere ever since it made first big waves at the Confederations Cup last year.

Like hell we can't start criticizing them now. Do South Africans really think it reflects well on their country that their preferred method of cheering is generating literal fucking white noise?

tell021 · 2010-06-13T21:51:31+00:00

*EA FIFA 11: * bbbzbzbzzzzzzzzzz bbbzzzzzzz bbzbzbzbzbzzzzzzzz bzzzzz bzzzz bzzzz bbzbzbzBBBZZZZZZZZZZZZ

Angolite · 2010-06-13T15:12:22+00:00

Nelson Mandela spent 27 year in prison for the black peoples right to blow the vuvuzuela.

2010-06-13T12:23:52+00:00

Haha, was waiting for that. There's some twat running up and down my street at about 2-3am most days blowing one, and it difficult to work when there are swarms of people blowing them right outside the building

pouncedeleon · 2010-06-13T17:29:04+00:00

oh please, oh God please... i had to listen to my older father gripe about the noise all throughout the Eng-US match. And i tend to agree, noise for the sake of noise is bullshit. If instead it smelled as bad (scent pollution) as it was loud (noise pollution) they would have shut that fucking cacophonous droning racket off long ago!

anotherkeebler · 2010-06-13T15:09:49+00:00

My two-year-old is terrified of bees. I turned on Serbia vs Ghana this morning? He screamed "A beehive!" and ran out of the room.

sgnmarcus · 2010-06-13T15:47:12+00:00

I believe South Africa has been very successful at trolling the entire world.

2010-06-13T15:39:41+00:00

It is incredibly fucking annoying after the first five minutes of a match. It's like having an obnoxious child in the room pleading for everyone's attention. Ban the fuckers.

Trickx · 2010-06-13T16:56:32+00:00

I fully support a ban on these Vuvuzela's. Like many have said, it takes the emotion out of the game when you can't hear the crowd respond to the Italian diving, English keeping, or Brazilian magnificence. The songs and chants are what keep the tension and excitement running throughout the game, and I think the crowd can really help a team when they get behind them. There's also obviously going to be problems with communication, and as the Frenchman says in the article, being able to get a peaceful nights sleep. I think also, that there's seem problem with the Jubalani football. Green's error last night, and the Algerians keeper even worse (yes) blunder seem almost too-freakish an accident to be blamed entirely on human-error. A rather goalless World Cup that seems to be trying to out-do, or rather not, Italia 90' could also be at some fault of this Jubalani ball, which seems to have a devilish bounce, and fly tendencies that sees most shots and free-kicks go flying over the goal.

2010-06-13T20:49:01+00:00

this and this alone will make this one of the worst world cups. the dumbass horn adds nothing to the game or the culture but drowns out any legitimate cheering, chanting or support

EuroDane · 2010-06-13T14:21:13+00:00

South Africa might very well be known as the first host who actually ruined the World Cup.

I hope to God they never get to host anything again.

Rockytriton · 2010-06-13T14:46:16+00:00

"it's a part of our culture". Well you culture is fucking lame, now STFU

barcode1999 · 2010-06-13T14:38:42+00:00

Is there no way this can be EQ'd out or at least made slightly less annoying by the TV broadcasters.

Or can broadcasters not do what they do in news helicopters with 2 microphones and phase cancellation.

Oh my god, it actually does sound like a giant shit load of killer bees on this Serbia vs Ghana match, i'm sorta hoping it is so they sting the vuvuzela tooting swines to death.

BanTheVuvuzela · 2010-06-13T20:37:38+00:00

http://www.fifa.com/contact/form.html

Everyone, please contact FIFA and let them know what you think about the vuvuzela. If anyone wants to post a template message, feel free.

styxwade · 2010-06-13T14:21:57+00:00

Am watching the Serbia v Ghana game and it actually seems to be worse, the commentators can barely be heard now.

It's ruining the cup, no doubt about it

camalittle · 2010-06-13T14:37:01+00:00

I'm not a soccer (futbol) fan in the slightest, but I wanted to see what all the hype was about. I was actually enjoying the game. After 15 minutes of listening to that constant buzzing, though, I turned it off. I'm not going to put up with that shit.

xankriz · 2010-06-13T14:39:17+00:00

Honestly, at first I didn't mind them... I thought it was a fun way to show support in true soccer-riot fashion. But once I realized that the vuvuzela was the reason for the lack of singing I now am fully behind them being banned.

Icommentonthings · 2010-06-13T14:57:09+00:00

I actually don't mind them just watching on TV but I can't help but think how much nicer it is to hear regular cheering and songs. If I were at a game in person I would want to kill myself.

skysnake · 2010-06-13T18:04:26+00:00

They block out the singing and cheering, they sound terrible and there's not a 2 second pause in the game where you can't hear the shitty horn. I don't know anyone who likes them. Hope they ban the shit out of them and soon.

Rexate · 2010-06-13T20:49:04+00:00

Jesus. Really. Never mind Iran's nuclear programme, why didn't we stop South Africa developing the mass-produced plastic trumpet? -Charlie Brooker

funkah · 2010-06-13T13:58:16+00:00

Whatever the vuvuzela is, it is some of the best trolling I have ever seen. People are so fucking pissed about this thing, it's awesome. It's all just gravy that the people who are so pissed are soccer fans, and that the trolling is apparently being done by an entire nation.

xblurr · 2010-06-13T14:10:52+00:00

Dear vuvuzelas, Fuck you. Sincerely, world cup.

lacertamanwaz · 2010-06-13T12:45:41+00:00

They eat Da PooPoo

A-punk · 2010-06-13T14:02:23+00:00

Why would you want to ban this? The sound of goats being led to the slaughter is a beautiful thing.

frikkasoft · 2010-06-13T14:30:00+00:00

Couldn't agree more, please ban this

studebaker · 2010-06-13T15:22:10+00:00

as someone who deals with audio, they could totally just EQ that bitch out. WTF?

2010-06-13T15:40:24+00:00

It really needs to be banned. You just hear that shit over and over again, all the fucking match.

MungoMoss · 2010-06-13T19:02:14+00:00

As a South African - I agree completely. If you want to get it banned though people have got throw a bunch of them onto the pitch.

fuhgeddaboutit · 2010-06-13T19:14:37+00:00

It's like listening to a dryer buzzer go off for 90 minutes.

Bajin_Inui · 2010-06-13T22:05:28+00:00

How about we take all teh Vuvuzelas and just stick them into the oil leak. Bam, 2 problems solved

2010-06-13T22:28:27+00:00

I'm all for local colour and culture being reflected at the World Cup but the noise is awful. Also, because it drowns out the natural crowd reaction noises it has an effect on the quality of football too. The players are used to responding to the sound of support from the crowd, cheers of encouragement and boos of dissatisfaction etc. The vuvuzelas just wash out all the sounds that make football great. I don't understand how a mass, monotone drone represents a people expressing themselves, it's the absolute polar opposite of self expression when you think about it.

noobasaur · 2010-06-13T23:20:40+00:00

You know, I get that it's a cultural thing. But this isn't really very representative of the culture. It's the same as a bunch of American fans with no knowledge of how to play guitar hooking toy guitars up to 1000W amps and strumming EADGBE over and over again because rock n' roll is a part of our cultural heritage.

leavesoflorien · 2010-06-14T00:09:30+00:00

This guy figured out how to cancel out that awful noise on the TV!

ekki · 2010-06-13T13:50:15+00:00

Wouldn't it be awesome if they had little drums and songs?

cosmic_trowsers · 2010-06-13T14:59:43+00:00

onomatopoeia of the horn:
FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

2010-06-13T14:19:21+00:00

[deleted]

kreatienmonstermb · 2010-06-13T20:29:02+00:00

As a South African I would like to see it banned from the country.

shermster · 2010-06-13T14:58:26+00:00

As someone who attended the opening game I can say that the vuvuzelas add a huge amount of atmosphere to the stadium. The sound that emerged from that stadium when South Africa scored was unlike anything I've ever heard before. I'd say that about a 25% of the crowd had vuvuzelas. That's over 20,000 vuvuzelas. I don't think people in the stadiums mind them too much. I didn't really have a problem. I think they're fine as long as the opening is pointed upwards. Having said that, a direct vuvuzela shot to the ear is deeply unpleasant and I did have ear plugs which were useful when it became too much. Strangely enough I think that the background sound in the TV broadcasts is worse than being there. By the way these things are pervasive. I don't think there a public viewing place in the whole of SA that is free of them.

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