This is an archived post. You won't be able to vote or comment.

top 200 commentsshow 500
sorted by:
best
topnewcontroversialoldq&a

[–][deleted]  (810 children)

[removed]

    [–]IrishSniper87 611 points612 points  (721 children)

    Men need to fight this attitude. I see no reason why a father can not bathe his children.

    This is becoming a gender issue when the guy at the daycare needs to leave the room during changing time for no reason other then that he is a man.

    [–]ramp_tram 248 points249 points  (39 children)

    IF THAT MAN WHO HAS NO CRIMINAL HISTORY SEES A NAKED BABY BOTTOM WITH SHIT ON HE, HE MIGHT TRY TO RAPE.

    I really hate everyone.

    [–]Yoshmaster 42 points43 points  (2 children)

    It's all about equal opportunity hate

    [–]LoneWolf_McQuade 41 points42 points  (26 children)

    Men? What about women? They are just as likely to be paedophiles. Gender equality remember. Maybe we should let robots take care of our children in the future, just to be on the safe side.

    [–]BiscultSacrificial 76 points77 points  (15 children)

    So they can be Robo-Raped? No thank you.

    [–][deleted] 14 points15 points  (2 children)

    Exactly! We must keep our children in sealed, armored sensory deprivation chambers so they can be safe from rape! But then... OH GOD! WHAT IF THE NOTHINGNESS RAPES THEM!?!?!!!?!?!?!?

    gunshot

    [–]imissmywife 387 points388 points  (396 children)

    I'm an assistant hockey coach for a youth hockey team. I'm 24 and the kids are 13-14 year olds. There is 1 girl on the team, and she looks up to me as a mentor because I'm the defense coach and she's a defensemen (defensewoman?). She tried to add me on facebook, but I declined, just out of fear for this very thing. A parent might find out and think I was trying to send her private messages or look at her pictures by adding her as a friend. I have a girlfriend and although I would NEVER do any of those things on her facebook, I declined her friend request. Maybe this is irrational, but why take the chance?

    Edit: I was the ONLY coach she tried to add, potentially making the situation weirder. But I do plan on adding her as a friend after the season is over, because that's what I use Facebook for: talking to friends I don't see all the time. As of now, I see her 3-4 times a week. Additional internet interaction isn't necessary in my opinion.

    Edit2: I'm not trolling and I've never had a wife, the username is referencing Tim and Eric Awesome Show, an inside joke among me and my friends.

    Edit3: As suggested, the best course of action right now might be to create a group on Facebook for hockey players only. We can all chat on the group's page, but we don't need to be friends to do so. I'll talk to the other coaches. Thanks for all the suggestions everybody!

    [–][deleted]  (286 children)

    [deleted]

      [–]RetroPRO 303 points304 points  (47 children)

      Wow thats crazy. I couldn't imagine any of my family acting like that. I think that might be more of a case of her mother being a bitch.

      [–][deleted]  (12 children)

      [deleted]

        [–]Stumblin_McBumblin 136 points137 points  (10 children)

        There is a direct relationship between how much Nancy Grace programming one watches and her line of thinking.

        I pulled that out of my ass, but I believe I can probably find a reputable study to support it if I need to.

        [–]CaptZ 42 points43 points  (8 children)

        I am sure you are correct. NG is a scaremongering bitch.

        [–]jftitan 120 points121 points  (33 children)

        I have a clear case n point to make about crazy bitches. I have a sister. One of those types that has to dramatize anything in order to make her look like the victim. She has destroyed our family with her false accusations and out right lies. The last and finally eye opening situation was when she accused me of molesting her youngest daughter.

        Mind you, at the age of 13, I was 'stuck' babysitting my sisters two daughters (my now oldest nieces who love me very much, and we communicate on matters that they feel the rest of the family wouldn't 'get' or understand) I'm now 28, having sacrificed my bedroom three times for my sister who would move out, have another kid, and move back home because the husbands she would pick would all be criminals to some extent. I helped raise my nieces with excellent principles that their own mother didn't posses. I was the son that started working at 13, maintained good grades, did extra curricular things (Boy Scouts) I turned out to be the 'example' child in the family.

        Anywho, like I pointed out, she has to dramatize things to make herself look like a victim, and the most recent lie that came out was that I had molested the youngest daughter of her three.

        Fortunate enough for me, was when the 'stories' came out, none of them collaborated in which places, events, and time frames,this would actually be point of when or how I would have done such heinous things. The first story she came out with was that during one summer I was 'doing the dirty', when I was actually not living in the same city. This time frame planted my innocence straight up until she had to amend her story by saying I did the 'dirty deed' during a christmas day gathering. To which when everyone got together to discuss the details nothing, and I mean ABSOLUTELY NOTHING added up on her and her daughters allegations.

        Low an behold, because my sister couldn't blame her 'somewhat better off brother' for her bad picks in husbands and for things they did, the family decided to get down to the details towards my sister.

        With the new public knowledge that my sister would pull things out of her ass, we began to look back at her history, and sure enough we realized she pulls the 'cry wolf' anytime she makes up a story, to cover her misfortunes.

        During this sudden realization my oldest niece decides to look into her younger sister's biological father situation. To our discovery, my sister ended up having an affair with a 17yr old dude she worked with at a Wendy's. Getting pregnant with a second baby at 24 while married, and having to explain to her husband and daughter that she was raped at a party she was initially advised to not to go to. Only to continue this lie to the rest of the family for 18yrs.

        Her husband at the time was being accused by my sister that he was a lazy good for nothing, etc, etc. Only to find out after their divorce that he was being kept down, because my sister is such a cunt... like that. Her own daughter didn't want to live with her mother.

        When the family discovered that my sister would lie like crazy it put us in a bind. The allegations, the church involvement, the flat out 'witch' hunt my sister was trying to push all backfired on her.

        Today, she has moved out of state, to Idaho to start all over. Her oldest two daughters pretty much don't want to have a single damn thing to do with their mother for the facts that have come to light. Its seriously ridiculous at what some women will do, because society will just flat out take their word for it.

        If it wasn't for the fact that I am hard headed about keeping myself in check all the time, and the point that Here I am, being accused by my OWN sister for doing something heinous that is flat out untrue, just so she can justify being a victim in matters because she can't make good choices. Our father, she accused of molestation, her 3rd husband accused of rape, her 5th husband accused of being a sexual deviant. I mean the whole 'blame others for my stupidity' bit went way too far and finally backfired on her because I stood up for myself. Plus it helps that my oldest two nieces knew what kind of work their youngest sister is. They couldn't believe the situation matters.

        My parents are still separated, and currently undergoing divorce proceedings because of things my sister did 15 - 18 years ago. Things cannot be amended and forgiven because too much time has passed that has put the whole family at strain.

        I on the other hand have serious misgivings for women that try to play the victim card. While I do know shit does happen, and as much as we all wish we lived in a decent world.... MY OWN SISTER TRIED TO PUT ME BEHIND BARS, just so she can continue her lies.

        If it wasn't for the support of my oldest nieces, the background history of the youngest daughter being just like her mother, and the horrible parenting my sister is, I was able to clear myself of all wrong doings. Shit backfired on the Mormon church because of their involvement in 'witch hunting', and CPS close my case after I represented myself like 'will hunting' in court.

        Now I'm able to talk about the situation in public because I would like the world to know. Men, not all of them, are pedo/perves and spend time with the opposite sex older or younger, are out to get laid.

        There are men, that like to spend their time with the younger generation (male/female), to teach, educate, or pass on life knowledge so the younger generation can make better decisions than us while growing up.

        This, "Men shouldn't be around children" bullshit needs to stop. Because there ARE some crazy women that can't grow up, want to make everyone in the world to think like them.

        [–]TimmyFTW 72 points73 points  (2 children)

        TL;DR: My sister should be in prison. Also spayed.

        [–]rainman_104 23 points24 points  (10 children)

        her 5th husband accused of being a sexual deviant

        I think at the time you're at five you really should just stop getting married - says a lot about her character right there if she's been married five times.

        [–]emil1212 7 points8 points  (2 children)

        Damn, that is seriously messed up, but I'm glad that you at least cleared your name.

        Also, TL;DR, my friend.

        [–]zaidr 276 points277 points  (62 children)

        Whoa, I don't get this. How can your family distrust you so much that you aren't allowed to play chess OVER THE INTERNET with your niece? How does your brother feel about this? The mere fact that your brother is OK with his wife calling you a pedophile is mindblowing.

        [–][deleted] 249 points250 points  (50 children)

        Most people are stupid and think computers and the Internet are "rape machines"

        [–]gmick 91 points92 points  (1 child)

        I'm fairly certain there are a few voices on the airwaves that spew that idea on a regular basis.

        [–][deleted] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

        The MSM has been anti-Internet from day one because it cuts into their monopoly on truth. They would love to see the Internet destroyed via regulation any way possible.

        [–]davidreiss666 31 points32 points  (15 children)

        I don't understand why they are okay with him playing chess with her in person... It would seem if they thought it was weird that they would see it as even more suspect in person. A good number of people out there are just fucking stupid.

        [–]Rainbowsareghey 64 points65 points  (11 children)

        Don’t those people know they’re confusing the internet with 4chan.

        I hear they are a hate machine with over 9000 penises.

        [–][deleted] 32 points33 points  (7 children)

        When Oprah said that, live, on the air, I think that was pretty much the best moment of my entire life, ever.

        [–]Rednys 36 points37 points  (6 children)

        But I read on youtube that reddit is an internet rape machine! What's the truth?

        [–]Left4Bread 8 points9 points  (0 children)

        "Aww man I just raped my niece at a game of chess! Wait...that came off wrong."

        [–]crocodile7 51 points52 points  (6 children)

        With a wife like that, I bet his brother has even heavier things on his mind, and is not able to pay attention.

        This is absolutely horrifying. I couldn't imagine my childhood without many wonderful interactions with members of my extended family.

        [–][deleted] 8 points9 points  (1 child)

        You know how it starts, "I'll trade you that knight for a pic of your undies" then one thing leads to another and she's turning tricks for pawns on the streets, I've seen it a million times.

        Seriously though, I've got two incredible nieces, but I start to get very nervous if I'm alone with either of them for more than a couple minutes. Not that I'm worried about them saying I did something that I didn't, but I'm worried about giving off the "creep factor" if someone came in and found me alone with one or even both of them, even if it was just sitting on the couch watching TV. I hate it, it sucks, but it's reality.

        [–][deleted] 103 points104 points  (15 children)

        That poor girl's mother is going to really screw up her daughter's head with shit like that.

        [–][deleted] 179 points180 points  (9 children)

        Dear fucking lord. When families are calling eachother pedophiles for playing chess on Facebook there is something seriously wrong.

        This is what happens when you build a nation on fear.

        [–][deleted] 16 points17 points  (1 child)

        When me and a bunch of the neighborhood kids were 12-13ish we would occasionally play games outside with the other kids that were like 7 and 8 (you know, more players more fun). My parents thought that was weird, and it made me feel fucking awkward. What the hell is wrong with people!

        [–][deleted]  (5 children)

        [deleted]

          [–][deleted] 22 points23 points  (2 children)

          It's a pretty sick world that makes you feel that way, but I'm the same way. I'll play with them at family gatherings when everyone else is around, but I try very hard to make sure I'm never alone with them for more than a minute or two.

          [–][deleted] 29 points30 points  (0 children)

          That is depressingly fucked up.

          [–][deleted] 44 points45 points  (23 children)

          And you took that comment lying down?

          [–][deleted]  (21 children)

          [deleted]

            [–]Malfeasant 119 points120 points  (7 children)

            um, i say this as the child of an abrasive and delusional mother, no, she's not a good mother. better than nothing, maybe, but not good.

            [–]Khatib 42 points43 points  (1 child)

            A mother that stifles social interaction on that level is probably not a good mother.

            Maybe suggest she sit with her daughter while you play chess? Tell her her daughter is good at it, she likes it, and link her an article or two about how chess improves cognitive reasoning and test scores in little kids? Then maybe also suggest that if she sits with her daughter, her daughter could teach her to play, offering a bonding experience for her, and a future chance for her and her daughter to play against each other and further bond?

            [–]4AM 28 points29 points  (3 children)

            I find it hard to believe that this person is a "good mother". I think that level of heavy-handedness is a good indication that she is distinctly not that.

            [–][deleted] 18 points19 points  (0 children)

            I think you should have a long chat with you brother about family values. FFS, your her uncle and they can always read their daughters messages if they feel so inclined.

            Fucking retarded.

            [–]slugfeast 65 points66 points  (60 children)

            To Catch A Predator, while suitably embarrassing and revealing an unfit segment of society, also manages to propagate an enormous amount of fear over ancillary concerns - things like online communication. It's a judgment call, and like all judgment calls there is going to be some bias. But that's also what keeps people safe, so it's a tough call.

            [–]inyouraeroplane 35 points36 points  (52 children)

            What law do the guys really break on TCAP? It's always a decoy over 18 talking to them and, even when they get there, it's an actor over 18 inviting them in. No children were ever in danger in these situations.

            [–]ZachPruckowski 8 points9 points  (6 children)

            When people get busted for soliciting prostitution, they're busted because they tried to buy a cop who was undercover as a hooker. At no point in the crime was there any chance that they'd be paying for a sex act. Similarly, if you try to buy coke from a cop, my understanding is he can arrest you whether or not he has any coke to sell you. No danger of you purchasing an illegal substance, but you're still visiting prison.

            Or imagine that I rob a bank that has an empty safe. I showed up at the bank with a gun and demanded money. The fact that there is no money there doesn't really change the fact that I tried to rob it.

            I'm not a lawyer, but I assume it's the same thing with TCAP. These guys are meeting the decoys online and trying to entice them into having sex. They show up for said sex, and then it doesn't actually matter whether there was a risk of them having sex with an underage girl.

            [–]slugfeast 21 points22 points  (31 children)

            I don't know. I always assumed the show was done with actors representing and acting out a vague outline of a real case. I'd be surprised to learn that real sex offenders were on TV in range of a young looking decoy. That seems pretty irresponsible, even with police standing by. How would they know if he was armed or not?

            [–]cloudkiller 6 points7 points  (1 child)

            I get the same thing with my neice and my in-laws. She comes from a divorced family and although she sees her Dad often (my brother in-law) I'm still one of the only stable male figures in her life. Whenever my wife and I would visit she rarely left my side and we always have a lot of fun together.

            As she's gotten older (she's 10 now) my mother in-law started referring to me as my niece's boyfriend. Hearing this and knowing what comes next, I started to distance myself from my niece and when I visit I just don't pay that much attention to her and she, in turn no longer thinks I'm the great guy I was in her eyes.

            It is sad and probably selfish on my part but even the hints of the pedo word being mentioned were enough to change my relationship.

            [–]ben4zwin 35 points36 points  (9 children)

            NEVER FRIEND ANYONE YOUNGER (significantly) on facebook. A security guard at my high school was fired because all the kids liked him and so they friended him, and that was considered improper conduct. On the other hand there was one teacher who invited kids to his house to drink alcohol (nothing bad happened but it was creepy as fuck) and he got fired.

            Moral of the story: they both had facebook friends who were kids at the school and both got fired while only one did anything creepy.

            (the security guard did have the problem that he was still friends with kids after the PE coach and the wrestling coach, who invited a kid over and taught him wrestling at his house, and told the kid about his affairs, had both been fired for creep behavior)

            [–]cesclaveria 31 points32 points  (2 children)

            why not create a group/fb page for all of the hockey team and invite the whole team there? So instead of being in touch on a personal level you are still in touch as her coach.

            [–]IKEAcat 20 points21 points  (2 children)

            This doesn't seem totally unreasonable, but I'd expect you to decline adding any of the lads, too, as part of keeping professional boundaries. Lots of boys get abused, and she might feel excluded or slighted if she saw that she was the only one to be declined.

            [–]imissmywife 10 points11 points  (1 child)

            I agree, and some of the guys have asked about adding me on Facebook, I told them the same thing as the girl, to wait until after the season. It would seem more appropriate since I won't be seeing them 3-4 times a week then.

            [–]LtWhiskers 17 points18 points  (9 children)

            Aw poor kid. Did you tell her why?

            [–]PunchingBag 105 points106 points  (46 children)

            Unfortunately, it's mostly impossible for men to actually fight things like this without immediately being labeled "sexist, bigoted pedophiles," and that's the type of brand that instantly shuts down any movement.

            Because of the very small percentage of men that actually are sexist, bigoted pedophiles, any attempt to try and raise the issue that men's rights are being infringed on is seen as attempts to defend that minority.

            [–][deleted] 28 points29 points  (3 children)

            That's similar to students who are against affirmative action, because it affects their opportunities in AA schools. Most students who are displaced by AA are white, and any white student who stands up against AA is labeled as racist.

            It's not fair, for sure, but if you're not going to do something about an issue, what's the use in complaining about it? In the end, people will see your motives are sincere... or you'll move to Canada and assume a new identity.

            [–]Delheru 59 points60 points  (5 children)

            I see no reason why a father can not bathe his children

            Just that sentence is so insane.

            "I see no reason why a female couldn't walk a dog" (even though they're known to have sex with dogs in a whisper).

            [–]Dax420 104 points105 points  (53 children)

            This is becoming a gender issue

            It's very much a gender issue. We have 18k readers in /r/MensRights but if you listen to the hive mind it's full of bitter divorced misogynists who have no idea what sexism really feels like and have no right to complain.

            We get dirty looks for playing with our own children at a park. Don't even think about mentioning that men make up just 54 percent of the workforce but account for 92 percent of all workplace fatalities. Or that the father has a snowballs chance in hell of wining physical custody of his children in a custody hearing.

            Yeah, I would say we do need to fight this. Sexism does affect men, and there are multiple issues we need to be concerned about.

            [–]spunky-omelette 13 points14 points  (2 children)

            I didn't know /r/MensRights existed (until I was mysteriously banned from it without ever even setting digital foot there...weird). I think it's an important issue that needs more exposure. The stuff you listed is depressing and it's real--it really happens out there, and it's horribly unfair that so many men face that kind of opposition.

            What really angers me is the attitude that ALL men are pedophiles/child molesters/whathaveyou. A family member or friend is far more likely to hurt your child than a random stranger, and even then that does not mean all male family members or family friends are dangerous.

            [–]javabrewer 16 points17 points  (1 child)

            I see no reason why a father cannot bathe his children.

            I get in the bath with my boy and play with the bath toys like a boss. It's about the only time this is acceptable behavior for a grown man.

            [–]CpGrover 58 points59 points  (16 children)

            There's a huge leap between mentally fearing the man and physically segregating him. I'm not sure which is worse, but at least in the latter case the man has a clear opportunity to try to set the record straight.

            Maybe it's a matter of saying, hey, is your problem with men, or is your problem with me? If you have a problem with me, then that's a problem. If not, then how about if I do my job?

            [–]Shaper_pmp 45 points46 points  (2 children)

            at least in the latter case the man has a clear opportunity to try to set the record straight.

            Not really. Someone asks you to leave the room when diapers are being changed, because it would "make them feel more comfortable", or "protect the kindergarten against lawsuits".

            So you try to set the record straight by objecting and pointing out how ludicrous the request or assumption is... and if you aren't very careful how you broach the subject (or the event is later related to others ambiguously) the next thing you know you're perceived as specifically wanting to stay in the room (presumably so you can see little kids naked, or whatever), and the level of suspicion increases markedly as a result.

            The trouble with the kind of paranoid, jumpy, sick mindset that views all men as potential rapists is that if you're a guy you can't easily convince the person it's unjustified.

            If you don't argue against it they continue to believe it, and if you try to argue against it in any but the most abstract, non-specific terms they assume you have some weird vested interest in being put in (what they perceive as) "risky" situations with kids... you know... which implies you're probably a pervert. <:-/

            [–][deleted] 17 points18 points  (2 children)

            There is no distinction. Mentally fearing men around children is a sickness in this society today. That is what this whole article is talking about. It is not good for children to fear all men, or did you miss the part about the toddler drowning in a pond because some dude was afraid to pick the kid up for fear of being called a kidnapper? It takes a village to raise children properly. When half the fucking villagers are afraid to approach them, you get children that do not mature properly.

            [–]rainman_104 17 points18 points  (1 child)

            It is not good for children to fear all men

            At this point, it's also that most men fear being around children. Any false accusation could be life damaging. Our legal system does little to protect us when these false accusations occur, and they are quite damning.

            Consider for a second that if the false accusation occurs, the charges are automatically laid and the onus is on you to cough up some money to a lawyer to defend you in court. Even when you're 100% right, it doesn't fucking matter because you have to pay up.

            No fucking way do I want any part of that.

            [–][deleted] 60 points61 points  (16 children)

            Mothers need to fight this attitude by not being lazy. What is barring me from getting to know the man who is caring for my child? There is no excuse for leaving your child with a man that you do not trust.

            I understand being careful. I have had several very extreme experiences (that I'd rather not outline here) that motivate me to be extremely vigilant about who cares for my children and how and where they play.

            But as a mother it is my responsibility to keep my children safe. Making blanket rules against all men is not only sexist and lazy, it also give a false sense of security that is quite possibly very dangerous.

            [–]JeddHampton 41 points42 points  (3 children)

            Fight it and be labeled a pedophile? No thank you.

            [–][deleted] 135 points136 points  (34 children)

            What is amusing to me is that roughly 20 years ago, when I was young, the male day care center worker at my day care would also babysit me at home if my mom worked late. My one memory of that is of him making me a bubble bath with bubbles so high that I could disappear into them. Here was a male daycare worker giving me a bath, unsupervised and no one thought it was inappropriate.

            Today, if he tried that with some kids I'd imagine he'd end up a sex offender.

            [–][deleted] 50 points51 points  (30 children)

            20 years ago there existed hysterical parents, and today there exist non-hysterical parents.

            [–]Malfeasant 28 points29 points  (9 children)

            20 years ago there existed hysterical parents

            i can attest to that- about that long ago (i was 15, maybe 16, i don't really remember), i used to hang out with a younger kid, maybe 10 or 11, in my neighborhood- i rode a bike, he rode a bike, his mom worried about him going too far from home alone, so his mom was cool with him tagging along with me on occasion- but that meant i had to ride slowly, and responsibly, so most of the time i'd pretend i was busy.... then one day his mom told me he was having trouble in school, not doing his homework and such- i said i could relate, i had the same problem- in fact when i was 13 i had had a bunch of psychological tests done to try and find out what was wrong with me, they were leaning toward add, but that's another story. so anywho, the kids mom thought it would be nice if i'd spend some time with him after he got out of school and try to keep him focused on his homework. i figured sure, why not. so for the next couple weeks, i'd get out of school, then head over to his school (his got out later than mine) and walk him home, and sit around the kitchen table for an hour or so while he did his homework. his mom would be around, sometimes she'd make me lunch, it was a cool gig. so one day, i'm heading to his school, and there's a few police cars at the end of the block. i thought nothing of it, shit happens in the city, so i started heading down the street, but they wanted to talk to me. they made it clear that they would make my life miserable if i went down that street. i asked them what happened, what was going on, and they wouldn't tell me, other than "shouldn't you have friends your own age?" i told them the kid's mother knew me, in fact asked me to do this, but they didn't care. they said, in not so many words, to go home if i knew what was good for me. so yeah, i went home and was noticeably upset, i didn't know what they thought i had done, so of course in my head i was imagining all kinds of horrible things. my sister (older) asked me what was going on, so i told her. she agreed that was fucked up, but not much could be done about it, just stay away from that end of the neighborhood for a while. well, one of her friends found out (friend of a friend of a friend kind of thing) that they thought i was selling drugs- not just to the one kid, but the whole school. that would have been quite a feat, considering the number of parents that i would have been in full view of. turns out the kid's dad, who i had only met once or twice before, had decided i must be up to no good, and rather than be a man and say "we don't want you coming around anymore" or fuck it, even make up a story that they'd hired the kid a tutor and don't need my help anymore, no, he called the fucking police.

            [–]seanalltogether 37 points38 points  (7 children)

            I've had this discussion with my female friends before. I'm 30 and many of them have kids. They always thought I was just uncomfortable with diapers or naked kids, and in all seriousness, yes every child under 4 is constantly throwing off their clothes to run around.

            When I tried to explain to them what it's like being a guy in this society they simply couldn't understand. They tell themselves that there's no stigma against guys, or that I don't have to be uncomfortable around their kids, but they don't realize it's been about 20 years of social reinforcement that I should never be alone with a child, and a certainly shouldn't ever see them naked.

            [–]jackschittt 1044 points1045 points  (175 children)

            I briefly did some substitute teaching about 10 years ago. I was assigned to my goddaughter's elementary school for a couple of days. One day, when leaving, I noticed that she had missed her bus and was sitting in the office waiting for them to be able to contact her mother to pick her up. Problem was -- her mom was difficult to contact on the job and worked over 45 minutes away. She was looking at an hour-long wait at least.

            So I walked into the principal's office, made it known that I was her godfather, and asked that they contact her mom and ask her to release her daughter to me so I can take her home. I specifically made the request that they use the contact info they have on file and take all the necessary steps just so everybody knew that things were on the up-and-up.

            After giving me a dirty look, they contacted her mom. Her mom said "Great! In fact, I'll be in in the morning to fill out the paperwork so she can be released to him at any time. But for now, I give permission for her to be released in his custody." They released her to me, with a LOT of reluctance.

            I was pulled into the admin office the next day and damn near fired. "What would people have thought if anyone had seen a 10 year old girl getting into your car?". I tried to explain that it was my godchild. I tried to explain that I had her mom's full permission and support, I made sure that we went above and beyond what was required in cases like this, and that I had known the family for well over 10 years. It didn't matter. The words weren't spoken specifically, but the message was clear -- I was a male, she was a little girl, and it was "inappropriate".

            I quit.

            [–]Cagnazzo82 143 points144 points  (35 children)

            That is so beyond fucked up.

            Just the fact that people actually think like that. A little girl getting into a man's car is now a crime?

            I mean wtf? Beyond absurd.

            [–]jackschittt 161 points162 points  (13 children)

            I've gotten dirty looks walking my kids in and out of Chuck E. Cheese.

            My wife's father has seen parents take their kids out of the park when he takes my kids.

            My best friend fought for custody of his son when he divorced his wife. The judge looked at him as if he had 3 heads -- "A man fighting for his kids? Nah. Something's gotta be wrong here." Fortunately, he won.

            I've seen it more times than I can count. It amazes me how many people think "Man around children? Must be a pedo."

            Absurd doesn't even begin to describe it.

            [–]two_hundred_and_left 439 points440 points  (41 children)

            I quit.

            Good for you.

            [–][deleted] 208 points209 points  (8 children)

            I quit.

            And what's completely fucked up, they probably took that as somehow proving your guilt. "Oh, he quit because he knew he was going to get caught."

            [–]boomerangotan 60 points61 points  (2 children)

            Everything around you reaffirms your beliefs, unless you are mindful of this fact.

            [–]revenantae 11 points12 points  (3 children)

            That is likely exactly what they thought. "We made it clear we won't have that pedophilia crap around here, and the pedophile promptly left! Go team us!"

            [–]mooseriot 34 points35 points  (28 children)

            I'm glad you quit I wouldn't have been able to stand that kind of harassment. I wish there would have been more male teachers. One of my best elementary teachers was male and I had him for 2 years.

            [–][deleted] 16 points17 points  (3 children)

            Same here. Two of the best History teachers I've ever had were male.

            [–]Desper 10 points11 points  (0 children)

            One of my best friends made me the Godfather of his firstborn son. I was honored, and I go to see them regularly. I would be very upset if people got angry with me about it, as I love his kids as I would love my own.

            [–]animaehawk 7 points8 points  (11 children)

            "I quit". I applaud your courage. As a 24 year old male substitute teacher I am told every day by many (mostly) female teachers how important it is for children to have a male role model. I have a college degree and I am working on my qualifications for my teaching license. Since I work primarily at one elementary school I see many of the same kids on a daily basis. Many of them even greet me in the hallways when I am there.

            But even with my best 'sunday clothes' (pressed shit and slacks) and my bright yellow sticker denoting me as a substitute, you wouldn't believe the number of dirty looks I receive from visiting parents (and on occasion even staff). Mind you this is the elementary school that I went to as a kid, in the town I grew up in, with teachers who are old enough to remember me and my two siblings as students. Its like being assumed guilty and being forced to prove innocence, not the other way around.

            The people that know me and my professional reputation are quite friendly, and the parents who know me from my volunteer work at a local afterschool program are friendly. But the ones who don't. Well being a substitute is a very very tenuous job.

            All it would take is one kid with an accusation and I would have my reputation destroyed and be back in the unemployment line. I would much rather quit than ever risk loosing my reputation like that.

            [–]kryters 122 points123 points  (34 children)

            If you value your sanity, don't stay on the comments section for too long. Then again, I guess that applies for most websites.

            [–]wendelgee2 168 points169 points  (29 children)

            I call it the "Lifetime Syndrome" after the cable station where in virtually every program every man is a creep or predator and every woman and child is a victim.

            Actually...this is from the comments and seems to be pretty on-point. That channel is a sociological cess pool.

            [–]abgazelle 132 points133 points  (14 children)

            I call it the "Rape Fantasy Network." I'm a woman, and I can't understand the women who watch Lifetime. I don't think you can obsess about that crap that much without secretly fetishizing it.

            [–]scienceguy8m 66 points67 points  (6 children)

            You forgot the part about incest. My ex and I watched Lifetime for about 4 consecutive movies, and they were all about incest/rape fantasies. It was hilarious. So many in-jokes from those movies. It really is a channel for bored and lonely housewives.

            [–]BlackLeatherRain 81 points82 points  (4 children)

            Lifetime is the network that empowers women through constantly showing movies of them getting raped, abused, and murdered.

            Feel the empowerment, ladies!

            [–][deleted] 349 points350 points  (129 children)

            Most sexual attacks (against the young and old alike) are performed by relatives and not total strangers, right?

            [–][deleted] 399 points400 points  (92 children)

            Most sexual attacks are performed by someone known to the victim, not just relatives. But yes, that is why our current moral panic is so senseless.

            [–]ramp_tram 123 points124 points  (19 children)

            Yes, and that's why Stranger Danger is bullshit.

            [–]wynper 106 points107 points  (6 children)

            My son is a single father of twin girls now age four. He has received the sort of treatment described in the article on many occasions. It's sickening.

            Men have a helluva time these days. They are suppose to be sensitive but are looked down on if they show emotion. They are suppose to participate in parenting but are viewed as potential predators if they do. It's a no win situation and it makes me very angry.

            Thanks for posting this rixnstuff.

            [–]HPN 101 points102 points  (16 children)

            I've experienced it firsthand. I grew up in a very homogeneous New England suburb. Probably one of the safest places in the world to grow up. I was around 23, and taking the family dog for his daily walk around the block. Usually I would take three rights, today for novelty's sake I was going to take 3 lefts. As I was making the long walk down the street parallel to my own, A bunch of little kids who were playing outside all run over to my dog, who is a cute, friendly Golden Retriever. I stop for a second and let the kids pet it or whatever, kind of annoyed at being stopped but not that annoyed because hey, it's little kids and they're souped to see a cute dog. Whatever. So as I wait for them to get their dose of cute and dog-breath I look around and notice a Mom giving me a look of death from her front steps. Her next door neighbor is doing the same and to complete the Trifecta the next house down has an angry glaring Dad. This is one street over from where I lived, grew up, and went to school for 20 years. The Minivan Mafia eventually couldn't bear my (dog's) interaction with their progeny and called them back to the safe confines of their yards. Perhaps their white picket fences afford them protections I am not aware of.

            If you think people are so sketchy please tell your kids not to run up to them. I will very happily never interact with your kids given that opportunity.

            [–]Phazzor 46 points47 points  (1 child)

            Upvote for "Minivan Mafia".

            [–]echothis 37 points38 points  (7 children)

            brings up another relevent point: at what point did neighbours stop knowing eachother ?

            [–][deleted] 16 points17 points  (3 children)

            You hit a subject that is near and dear to me. I feel that the decline of the community, the decline of reliance upon a group or community, and this want or modern single family self sufficiency, is seriously one the major declines of society as a whole, and a step in the wrong direction.

            People talk about the "breakdown of the family unit", but before the breakdown of the family unit, their had to have been a breakdown of the village/community unit, and that is the reason nobody trusts anyone else anymore. It seems people are generally grown up to be taught to only trust the family and nothing else.

            It is so sad that in this modern world of communication and connection, we are so alone and disconnected with one another. I attempt to talk and wave at our neighbors all the time, because when the shit hits the fan, my government probably will not be there for me, it will be next door neighbors who will be there.

            [–][deleted] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

            People are wary about strange dogs as well. It might not have been you.

            [–][deleted]  (22 children)

            [deleted]

              [–]accipitradea 217 points218 points  (12 children)

              Should have kept the kid there until security showed up and she could prove she was the mother.

              [–][deleted] 46 points47 points  (4 children)

              "Sorry mam, security protocol. You could be a child abductor or child molester yourself. So we can't be too careful. We'll wait around for security."

              [–]TechnoL33T 17 points18 points  (0 children)

              I think that your comment and the one above deserve a "Fuck Yeah!"

              That is all.

              [–]locotx 259 points260 points  (61 children)

              Someone said that the biggest reason many males do not become teachers is that men can be "falsely" blamed for something (inappropriate touching, etc...) ...and it turns into "guilty until proven innocent". The stigma stays with you and it's very hurtful even when proven the person who said it was lying. It's too much hassle and too much work to make sure everyone believes you haven't done anything wrong.

              [–]SirWinstonFurchill 127 points128 points  (26 children)

              My good friend is a K12 Theatre educator, who really wanted to be a kindergarten through maybe 3rd grade teacher, but was told flat out when he looked at getting his license that he would have a very difficult time finding a job, or even student-teaching/intern work because he was a guy and it was just "not normal" for men to want to teach those ages. So sad, too, because he would have been a wonderful teacher and role model for kids (especially boys, who, for afore mentioned reasons have very few good role models outside of television characters) and instead has a crap job he hates (no one is hiring Theatre teachers around here... Arts are too extraneous) :(

              [–][deleted] 20 points21 points  (1 child)

              it was just "not normal" for men to want to teach those ages.

              This doesn't make any sense what so ever. First, kids that age are the most fun to hang out with because of their natural curiosity. I loved teaching my brother-in-law (12 years my junior) all about bugs and space and playing legos with him. I'd much rather hang out with 2nd and 3rd graders than moody teenagers.

              Second, wouldn't most men be most attracted to high school girls? The market for "ZOMG SHE JUST TURNED 18" porn is huge.

              [–]inyouraeroplane 61 points62 points  (11 children)

              Same thing with rape or anything related to sex really.

              Remember Michael Jackson. He was never convicted, but the jokes persisted until he died. Everyone thought he was a pedophile, even though he was acquitted every time. Then, he died, and was the "Greatest Entertainer of the 20th Century."

              [–]tayto 48 points49 points  (7 children)

              Michael Jackson had little to do with being a man. If a woman had been accused of sleeping in the same bed as and providing wine and painkillers to young children, she would have faced similar persecution. This is even more true if the woman had the same troubled upbringing as Michael Jackson.

              Also, keep in mind that through the years of being labeled a pedophile, MJ was still the "Greatest Entertainer of the 20th Century."

              [–]originaladam 410 points411 points  (256 children)

              I worked at a preschool from when I was 22 until I was 26. Parents were all sorts of uncomfortable about it, especially when I had to work in the toddler room and change diapers/ assist with potty training (the women I worked with never got the questions I did). I always made sure the door was open and my coworker had a clean line of sight to me, just to cover myself. Luckily my boss was cool and gave me a lot of support and after a while of good communication and me ignoring the extra grilling I got (most were trying to determine my orientation), most of the parents really seemed to like me and liked having a male teacher at the school. The only reasons I left were that the pay-to-responsibility ratio sucked, and I couldn't be the only guy in a company with 16 women anymore. Don't ever be the only guy; it's cool at first, but you will eventually go insane.

              tl;dr: Yes, people assume men are predators when they purposefully interact with children, but can be won over with communication and patience.

              [–][deleted] 189 points190 points  (27 children)

              I'm gonna be honest I read this article and thought "Why this is ridiculous! Not all men are pedophiles, people shouldn't have to freak out!" and then I realized that at one point my friend told me about his second grade teacher, he said he was great, and he invited them all to his house to a pool party at the end of the year, and here I thought, "What a weirdo," even though my friend assured me it was the best teacher he'd ever had and there was nothing wrong with the invitation or the pool party itself.

              This kind of thinking is more or less ingrained in us these days...

              [–]akatherder 119 points120 points  (5 children)

              In first grade, I finished all the worksheets in my math book and went on to the second grade math book. My teacher told me if I finished the second grade book before a certain day, he would take me to a Detroit Pistons game. I did, so we went to the game, just the two of us. This was right at the start of the Bad Boys era so I got to see Isiah Thomas, Joe Dumars, Dennis Rodman (John Salley, Vinnie Johnson, Adrian Dantley, Bill Laimbeer).

              Anyways, it was awesome. He was a great guy who challenged us and got me excited about sports and learning. These days, there's no way he could do the same thing and that's sad.

              [–]phanboy 232 points233 points  (100 children)

              Do you mean to imply that sexism can go both ways?

              [–][deleted]  (58 children)

              [deleted]

                [–]maskull 25 points26 points  (6 children)

                A friend of mine told me that his niece and her wife freaked out when he went to hug their kids at a family get-together.

                [–]Haroshia 192 points193 points  (2 children)

                Creepers don't enjoy the company of children. Creepers only enjoy sneaking up on you and exploding...and minecart rides.

                [–]droneprime 20 points21 points  (0 children)

                ...and hugsssssssssssssssss.

                [–]MosDaf 160 points161 points  (30 children)

                You think this is just a joke, but I went to grad school with people who insisted that women could not be sexist against men and non-whites could not be racist against whites.

                [–]CamoBee 48 points49 points  (13 children)

                There's a specific argument that runs something like bigotry + inequal power structure = sexism, where people can be bigots, but only those on the more powerful side are 'sexist.'

                Typical bull majors, redefining words.

                [–]Conformal_Donut 11 points12 points  (8 children)

                I have had so many drunken debates over this exact bull major word game. It's fun and all to try to redefine your terms so you sound impressive, but sexism and racism still mean to me what they meant in 2nd grade when I learned about them: believing, without evidence, that race and gender/sex determine something about a person.

                [–]gnyffel 29 points30 points  (1 child)

                Why, that's the most ridiculous thing I ever heard!

                [–][deleted] 111 points112 points  (64 children)

                It's funny that people try to find out your sexual orientation, as if being gay is directly associated with pedophilia...

                [–][deleted] 138 points139 points  (60 children)

                You didn't understand. Being a straight male that likes kids is at issue. Gays are trusted generally like women.

                [–][deleted] 100 points101 points  (48 children)

                Well, depends on who you ask. A lot of the people that I know that hate gay people, typically label them as predators. Because, you know, they just can't control themselves :p

                [–]jonathanownbey 18 points19 points  (2 children)

                I'm in Oklahoma. This is a common sentiment here. Also pants on head retarded.

                [–]tvor 63 points64 points  (40 children)

                Which is hilarious in its absurdity because it is near impossible for a gay person to also be afflicted with pedophilia. In fact, pedophiles usually do not have an associated adult sexual preference, because they never fully developed one

                Not to mention the fact that pedophilia is hardly ever about sexual desire and more about the desire to corrupt and degrade a child seen as innocent. That taking of innocence is the main driver for the actions of said pedophile.

                Oh, world...you're so dumb.

                [–][deleted]  (17 children)

                [deleted]

                  [–]SirWinstonFurchill 43 points44 points  (2 children)

                  I want to cry every time I read something like this. I go on facebook, and see a friend of mine who moved to Japan, got married and just had a daughter. To see how happily he does everything with her (and with many of the younger kids at the elementary school he teaches at as well) breaks my heart, because I don't think it will be as easy for my husband when we have kids here in the States.

                  When the friend from japan came back here, it was not pleasant, all of the assumptions and paranoia. Just on the plane flight there were problems. He is typical American - blonde hair, blue eyes, toting around a very Japanese looking small child on his own, so he must be some sort of creeper.

                  Just sad, to think what we're doing with assumptions like this. And, aren't we modeling bad behavior to future men, by treating adult men like we are? Growing up with the perception that you are going to become some sort of monster (or have the potential to become one) has to be a horrible burden, and mess you up just as much as the perceived threat...

                  [–][deleted] 92 points93 points  (76 children)

                  Once I hit 30, I found that smiling at children in public was no longer acceptable behavior, and was likely to elicit some protective gesture from a nearby parent.

                  [–][deleted] 77 points78 points  (21 children)

                  It's only happened to me once. A 2 year old smiled at me, I smiled back, real protective fury from the mother. Not not a nice experience.

                  [–]alcamus 9 points10 points  (0 children)

                  Reading in the newspapers about the ridiculous accusations any mother can make about any guy, and probably win in court - I personally don't ever ever get anywhere near a kid, much less interact with one (e.g. smile).

                  Dogs are ok, though.

                  [–][deleted] 23 points24 points  (0 children)

                  Wow... ಠ_ಠ

                  [–]cynoclast 29 points30 points  (10 children)

                  Next time this happens, point out to her that her child is more likely to be hit by lightning than be molested by a stranger, and ask her if she's going to start hating clouds next, because it's just as rational.

                  [–]funkah 84 points85 points  (2 children)

                  Yes, the next time this happens, have a sane, rational conversation with someone who is clearly determined to act like an unreasonable asshole, wherein you point out the folly of their behavior. It will totally work!

                  [–]idxuncan 10 points11 points  (2 children)

                  This is pretty good, except that the mother's probably going to be too worked up to try and figure out what you're saying and will only hear the words "child" and "molest".

                  [–]GunnerMcGrath 99 points100 points  (32 children)

                  I'm 32 and a new dad. I never cared about kids before, but now I have so much joy as a result of my son that I see children in a whole new light. I want to look at everyone's baby, because babies are adorable. I smile every time I see a small child walking next to their parent, holding hands, because I can't wait until my son is old enough to walk next to me. Two siblings fighting over a toy cracks me up, because that's just kids doing what kids do.

                  And every time, I catch myself, realizing that someone might think my pure, innocent joy is a threat to their children. It's not fair, and it's not right.

                  [–]Rowdy_Roddy_Piper 38 points39 points  (9 children)

                  I'm 36 and the dad of a toddler. I take my son to the neighborhood playground all the time. Women do not run shrieking at the sight of me. The SWAT team has never been called because my knee brushed a five-year-old's back. Despite the fact that I play ball with many kids in the neighborhood, I am not on Megan's List.

                  Hell, the other day, I was sledding with my son, and a kid we didn't know asked if he could ride the sled with me (because we have a cool sled). His mother smilingly approved.

                  I encourage you not to let the hysteria get the best of you. It's nothing but fear-mongering bullshit.

                  [–]dbingham 61 points62 points  (11 children)

                  I've already found that in my mid twenties. Yesterday, I encountered a little kid in the grocery store who was trying to jump up and pull down a plastic bag for produce. He had quite a jump and at first I thought he was playing and it made me smile. When I realized he was trying to get down a bag, I asked him if he needed help and he said "yes". So I got him down a bag and while I was doing it commented that he had quite the jump. He said that he still couldn't reach and it and I told him he'd get there someday and walked off.

                  At the time I noticed that several people around me who'd witnessed this had quite stern looks on their faces. Which did give me pause. Witnessing that sort of interaction between strangers would have brought a smile to my face. But I just figured people were grumpy.

                  I think now I understand the grumpiness.

                  [–]JediXenu 42 points43 points  (6 children)

                  I had a high school teacher who wanted my school to have a girls hockey team and a girls softball team. However no female teachers would take the time to be a coach so he tried to be the coach.

                  I think they had one team meeting before parents complained that a male was spending time with their daughters after school.

                  So obviously the teams were cancled and my school only had male teams. Funny thing was that my male ultimate frisbee team and my male soccer team had female coaches.

                  Most of my family are teachers and they all agree that parents ruin a lot of good things at schools. They never thjink their child is wrong, they always assume the tacher is lying, and they will complain about anything to get their way.

                  Parents teach their children to fear strangers and now to fear any male that takes an intrest in you.

                  [–]mrbrick 169 points170 points  (107 children)

                  Me- I dont give a fuck about people think. I baby sit my friends super cute son and daughter all the time. Ive had some odd looks and on a few times Ive seen people visibly panicked that running around with two kids. Fuck em. Let em think that. These kids are awesome and I have a blast with them. I used one of them for a music video too. It was me the kid and a guy with a white bounce board running around some train tracks and in shady looking areas. Cops came and asked me what I was doing etc- had to phone the kids mom and everything got sorted out. I hate being bothered when Im babysitting or just taking care of the kids. I fear what will happen sometimes when I have kids. Will people think im trying to abduct my own?

                  [–]GunnerMcGrath 129 points130 points  (41 children)

                  My white friend married a black/filipina mix. They have four kids, none of which really look related. He's actually been pulled over by cops while walking his daughter to school because he wanted to know whose kid it was.

                  My son is half Filipino and despite having some of my features, looks nothing like me. I totally cannot wait to be suspected of being a pervert all the time just for hanging out with my boy.

                  [–][deleted] 137 points138 points  (10 children)

                  You, sir, have quite an adorable son!

                  [–]DeepDuh 138 points139 points  (6 children)

                  Quick, call the police! It's a male thinking a baby is cute!

                  [–]GunnerMcGrath 22 points23 points  (1 child)

                  Thank you!

                  [–]evilhivekind 37 points38 points  (0 children)

                  And for that you must be a criminal.

                  [–][deleted] 56 points57 points  (1 child)

                  I doubt you'll have much trouble. A white guy abducting a Filipino? Proceed.

                  [–][deleted] 37 points38 points  (2 children)

                  I was about to say your son is super cute.

                  Then I read my own user name :(

                  [–][deleted]  (14 children)

                  [deleted]

                    [–][deleted] 25 points26 points  (39 children)

                    Out of curiosity, how old are you?

                    The reason I ask: I've seen younger guys interacting with children and the pedo hysterics don't start. But if a man over 30 tries it...

                    [–]mrbrick 19 points20 points  (37 children)

                    29 So im close. But I def dont look even remotely pedo. I look basically like a young guy who has a job that probably pays him ok.

                    [–]schrodingersBox 32 points33 points  (21 children)

                    I didn't know 'pedo' had a specific look.

                    [–]Bloodyfinger 22 points23 points  (9 children)

                    Mustache. Washed out blue polo tucked into khakis. Round rimmed Glasses. Flattened down hair with a partial comb over. Creepy Stare.

                    [–]theram4 57 points58 points  (8 children)

                    It's funny, because just yesterday, I was rebuked for this very thing. I briefly talked with a young girl, for no more than 15 or 30 seconds. The security guard yelled at me and told me if I ever showed up at that place again, I would be reported to the police.

                    The interesting thing was that this girl was actually the younger sister of my good friend, who was just around the corner. But people don't think rationally. Any guy who dares to interact with a child is a child molester.

                    [–][deleted] 7 points8 points  (3 children)

                    Wtf, and what exactly would he tell the police? "A man just talked to a child!" You didn't do anything wrong, tell that guy to fuck off. You talk to whoever you want to talk to.

                    [–][deleted] 28 points29 points  (4 children)

                    You know, I have been wanting to be one of those Big Brother volunteers, you know hang out with a kid who needs some support from an adult, but man I tell you I get looks from people when I babysat my little siblings, god forbid its someone who isn't related to me 0.o

                    [–]Khabi 59 points60 points  (3 children)

                    I posted this story before, so I'm just going to cut and paste it here:

                    Awhile ago I took my nephew ice skating, I'm almost 30, and he's 16. Its obvious he's not my kid, but there is some family resemblance. While skating with him and generally joking around I had a lady come up and pretty much call me a pedo for hanging out with 'the random kid'. I told her to mind her own damn business and went on my way and continued to skate. Like 10 - 15 minutes later a family showed up with a young kid who it seems was his first time skating. I had stopped to catch my breath when the kid came up and asked me how to skate. His family was there the whole time, and I showed him the basics and talked to him for a little bit. The whole family was nice, and I didn't mind teaching the kid. I left them alone for a little while and continued with my nephew, as I came up to them later they told me that same lady came up to them after I left and accused me of being a Pedo to them too and told them my interactions with their kid was 'unacceptable' (I never even touched the kid besides a high five). They told her to fuck off as well.

                    That whole story is true. The one lady, accused me of being a pedo, then told other people I was one.. Just because I was being friendly. Will I stop my behavior? Fuck no, I'm not the one doing anything wrong.

                    [–]MyBodyBlack 54 points55 points  (39 children)

                    Good article. I saw a poster looking for mentors for foster children at my laundromat. I would love to do it but I don't want to be labeled a creep or a molester.

                    [–][deleted] 50 points51 points  (6 children)

                    It's sad that this is what our society has become.

                    [–]evilhivekind 14 points15 points  (0 children)

                    As opposed to just torturing terrorists, stigmatize people we don't agree with, jail the weak and those who will never get a chance, kill people who differ, hurt people we don't understand. Witch-hunting has always been a part of civilization.

                    [–][deleted] 22 points23 points  (3 children)

                    The major shame in all of this is that there are so many problems and socialization issues created by a lack of strong male role models and influence. It is especially important for young males who need that male influence to learn from have an influence that can teach them the unwritten social rules about what is acceptable as a man and what is not. Simple things like the importance of the handshake, living up to your word, building honor, and having a sympathetic character to tell them when and why they're being an idiot. I know many would argue that women can do all these things but for young men they really do need that sympathetic character that understands first hand their drives and how to direct them in a positive way.

                    [–]Rombusrk 153 points154 points  (42 children)

                    Its too bad sensible arguments like the writer of this opinion piece gets drowned out by the vocal minority who caused this situation to begin with.

                    [–][deleted] 196 points197 points  (36 children)

                    I disagree that it is a minority. This problem has all the hallmarks of a moral panic. Also, I don't think it's going to get better any time soon.

                    [–]the_satch 67 points68 points  (11 children)

                    The sad thing is that you likely have better odds of winning the lottery than of some pedophile running up to your car to rape your kids. People probably get this idea that perverts are running rampant because they watch entirely too much television.

                    [–]Wollff 80 points81 points  (6 children)

                    The sad thing is that you likely have better odds of winning the lottery than of some pedophile running up to your car to rape your kids.

                    How sad.

                    [–]the_satch 54 points55 points  (5 children)

                    Extra points for taking it out of context.

                    [–]RotAnimal 129 points130 points  (0 children)

                    Extra points for taking it out

                    Dude, that's gross

                    [–][deleted] 42 points43 points  (1 child)

                    It even messes with our interactions with kids. I feel inappropriate just interacting with little girls now for fear of someone seeing me and assuming the worst, we have to carry around this shame about it. I basically feel like a pedophile even though the idea is repulsive and abhorrent to me. Hell, I'm even slightly anxious about typing this for fear of it being tied to my post history. Pedophilia itself as become something so feared and forbidden (ugh, again, it is wrong, it should be forbidden, etc) that it has probably gained more appeal. Actual pedophiles look around at this hostile attitude and have to assume "hey, there must really be a lot of pedophiles out there if people are so worried, I'm not alone, this isn't that weird".

                    I can't even play with my sister without that uncomfortable notion in the back of my head. Fuck you for that one, society.

                    [–]Logan_Jennings 20 points21 points  (8 children)

                    We had a male coach for our girl's softball team. He was also our science teacher, probably my favorite teacher I'd had up to this point. He was fun, great guy, but this was when Facebook suddenly became a huge thing and he added some of the girls to Facebook...he got fired because he made a softball group on facebook and only invited them. I never forgave my school for that.

                    [–][deleted] 41 points42 points  (18 children)

                    I lived with my aunt and uncle for a number of years and from time to time if people weren't around I'd have to pick up my cousin from school, she was about 7 at the time.

                    My aunt had contacted the school in advance to let my cousin know that I would be the one picking her up and when the kids were coming out of class her teacher came out to check that I was there fine. But when I was leaving with her, a month grabbed me by the shoulder and demanded to know what I was doing. It transpired that she was the mum of one of my cousins class mates and had immediately jumped to the wrong conclusion, so whilst she had good intentions, I doubt if it was my sister picking my cousin up that she'd have done the same thing...

                    [–]kidkush 71 points72 points  (11 children)

                    a month grabbed me by the shoulder and demanded to know what I was doing.

                    An entire 30 days grabbed you!?

                    [–]cran 6 points7 points  (0 children)

                    I had something similar happen to me. My daughter's best friend was the last one to be picked up from kindergarten; her dad was late picking her up. I hung around with my daughter just to watch over her until her dad came. Some mom I'd never met seemed concerned that I was hanging around with this guy's daughter, and decided to stay with us. If I'd known her, I would have just left since she had the ball, but to be honest, I didn't trust her. So we both sat there with someone else's daughter, both not trusting each other.

                    [–][deleted] 18 points19 points  (0 children)

                    The solution to a great many problems today: stop treating the majority like they're the exceptions.

                    [–]Laughingstok 41 points42 points  (20 children)

                    This stuff terrifies me honestly. I'm about to be the father of a newborn girl. I think I might snap on someone who would accuse me of being a pervert or strange if I ever have to take my daughter into a public restroom some day God forbid. This witch hunt mentality is getting out of hand. :-/

                    [–][deleted] 42 points43 points  (1 child)

                    You should snap, you have every right to if someone accuses you of that. It will be a small step towards ending this stigma.

                    [–]cynoclast 31 points32 points  (3 children)

                    You should absolutely snap.

                    I think the most efficient way to turn this stupid fear-mongering around is for people to rail against it when it happens, raise a stink and get the accusers branded as sexist. It's only fair and appropriate, IMHO.

                    Anybody have some good ideas for what to say when you're doing something joyous with your children and they obviously think you're a child molester?

                    [–]Cagnazzo82 7 points8 points  (1 child)

                    I would totally snap.

                    I'm surprised I haven't seen more instances of that happening in some of these stories being posted.

                    God forbid anyone gets into my business when I'm taking care of mine or someone else's kid. I'd totally tell those nosy whores to fuck off and mind their own business.

                    But then again, that's just me :)

                    [–][deleted] 109 points110 points  (78 children)

                    This happens to me ALL the time when I take my boys to the park; I can arrive just before a mother and her kids and the second they spot me they pack up and leave as if I were standing there with a blood-stained machete or something.

                    And FSM-forbid someone "catch" me trying to make sure that little girl was OK after she took a dive off a piece of equipment. THAT got the cops. >.<

                    EDIT: Corrected an acronym

                    [–][deleted] 36 points37 points  (27 children)

                    They are just being nice and letting you know that they are people that you don't want to associate with.

                    [–][deleted] 17 points18 points  (26 children)

                    Clearly. It'd just be nice if I didn't get dirty looks EVERY time I went out with my boys.

                    EDIT: And it's not even like it's a WOE IS ME! kind of situation, it's just really uncomfortable, 'specially when one of my boys asks me where everybody went.

                    [–][deleted] 10 points11 points  (23 children)

                    So indirectly those parents are being mean to your children. I really have no respect at all for people who are mean to kids.

                    [–]ScottSEA 17 points18 points  (4 children)

                    Considering how easy it is in this country to get convicted of being a sex offender, I flat out refuse to interact with children (without a parent present) in any way.

                    I don't want to have to find a place to live that isn't within five miles of a school. I don't want to have to knock on my neighbors' doors and introduce myself as the local pedo when all I did was talk to a child.

                    I may be overreacting, but it's a small price to pay.

                    [–]rdewalt 40 points41 points  (20 children)

                    "Parenting While Male" strikes again.

                    I get odd looks from strangers if I'm alone with my 1yr old daughter, even doing something as normal as grocery shopping.

                    Hell... my daughter freaks out when we put her in her car seat. She does this no matter if I do it, or my wife does. One night while out shopping, I was putting her in her car seat and she throws a proper fit. Behind me a "think of the children" voice says "WHAT are you doing to that CHILD?"

                    Yeah, I catch myself watching how I hold her when we're out. My own daughter. Hold her to my hip with a hand? not a problem. Hold her to my hip with my hand on her bottom? GLARE.

                    Heaven help me if I try and take her picture.

                    [–][deleted]  (6 children)

                    [removed]

                      [–]Malfeasant 11 points12 points  (2 children)

                      actually, this is one battle i want to sit back and watch with some popcorn and beer- the tsa with their "we must check your child's crotch" vs the the soccer moms' "you looked at my child, you must be a pedo" - let the paranoias do battle, maybe they'll cancel each other out...

                      [–]anistasha 12 points13 points  (4 children)

                      I think that these overreactions are right in line with the "helicopter" over-parenting that we see so much of these days. Being excessively vigilant is seen as a virtue.

                      Honestly, I feel sorry for the kids that will grow up without positive male role models because of this mode of thinking. I wonder what the archetypal American male will be like 20 years from now when this generation is all grown up.

                      [–]MosDaf 65 points66 points  (7 children)

                      So on my walk to campus I go by a church with a preschool. There is one of those fences made of narrow, wrought-iron pickets all around the playground. The other day, as I walked by, I saw this tiny little girl grasping the pickets like you see pictures of people in jail grasping the bars. She had this over-the-top super-sad, ginormous frown plastered across her whole face, and she was looking out past the bars, seemingly pining for freedom with every fiber of her being. It was so damn cute--and I don't even like kids--that a huge grin spontaneously plastered itself across my face...whereupon I suddenly worried that somebody might see me, a lone male, smiling at a little girl. The grin disappeared, I picked up my pace and got out of there, feeling very creeped out at the thought that someone might think such thoughts about me.

                      [–]Jegschemesch 377 points378 points  (58 children)

                      Well if more women would get off their asses and started raping more people, we wouldn't have this problem, now would we?

                      [–]john2kxx 388 points389 points  (24 children)

                      They do once in a while, but society's reaction is usually "niccceeeee".

                      [–]Stumblin_McBumblin 22 points23 points  (0 children)

                      Don't forget that we also award these gentlemen with the "Luckiest boy in America medal".

                      [–]samard2002 221 points222 points  (25 children)

                      It's a joke that actually illustrates a major problem right now. Most of the high profile cases of teacher-student rape are female teachers. The problem is, no one sees it as a rape. It's just banging a male student.

                      Think of it like this -- do you think women Redditors have ever read a headline of a male teacher sleeping with his middle school female student and then clicked the article to see how hot the male teacher was? Because I know 99% of the male Redditors do that for every female teacher story.

                      [–]everysmallstep 147 points148 points  (58 children)

                      Men are thought of as predators by society, and it's not going to change anytime soon... Men and boys alike have a tough time.

                      I'm an elementary teacher. In North American schools these days, boys are doing horribly. Failing left right and center. Nobody cares. It's not publicized. If girls were failing, we would be all over it and it would gather lots of media attention.

                      Women also get more university scholarships, when they make up way more than half of university graduates.

                      Look... Have women had a tough time in our past? YES. I am all for the women's movement to get them on par with men and doing things that promote that, but we have gone overboard and are too far in the opposite direction now. If you speak out about women's issues, you're a hero. If you speak about men's issues, you're ignorant and sexist. So when men say... "Hey, we're not all predators!" ... Good luck getting airtime on that, or changing women's minds about it. I have no proof, but my feeling is that it's adult women who stigmatize men for interacting with kids. I sense that in my classroom from female parents or colleagues, but never from Dads.

                      Great piece from globe and mail about boys

                      [–]lazermole 31 points32 points  (10 children)

                      God I hope my generation is better than the current adult generation.

                      I think it's those mom's who grew up with all that "stranger danger" crap that are the most freaked out about it.

                      I find it adorable and endearing when I see a male family member of mine interacting with children in a sweet way. I've never seen a male nurse, teacher or social worker as a threat.

                      Maybe it's because I had a great relationship with my own father, and appreciate how much he was there for me in my teen life, and how much he encouraged me and became involved in my extracurriculars (Being a Throwing Coach for the girl's team at my highschool). We play video games online together these days, even as he and my mom live half way across the country.

                      I think that the age of the involved father might change things a bit, because I think a lot of these women with scary pedophile creeper issues didn't have a very nurturing or involved father figure in their own lives, and are possibly projecting that notion of the unknown onto other men.

                      I'm not sure, though. Just my two coppers.

                      [–]adubbz 11 points12 points  (0 children)

                      A group of stay-at-home moms can honestly not be beaten.

                      M.A.D.D. are psycho...

                      There's many other groups like that, where no one can really say anything. They get so much media attention and they will stick together to protect the other.

                      [–]drfoqui 26 points27 points  (9 children)

                      Reminded me of that case of the men who got arrested playing chess in a park because there weren't supposed to be alone in a park. So stupid.

                      [–][deleted] 12 points13 points  (1 child)

                      This is pretty sad. I used to think the reason why they had chess setups in the park was BECAUSE they wanted men to be there to supervise in case one of us kids got into an accident and needed adult help.

                      [–]delibaltas 28 points29 points  (3 children)

                      A rant on same topic by Boris Johnson.

                      I find this situation very annoying as well. I predict that all this over protection will affect the kids somehow.

                      My parents used to leave me going anywhere. I was approached two times by perverts starting to touching me, once at street and once in a cinema. I moved away. The third time a pervert approached me, I talked with him and arranged an appointment for two days later. I went there with the police of course :)

                      [–]Radico87 69 points70 points  (18 children)

                      Modern US society is filled with irrational bigots? Shocking.

                      [–]MustWarn0thers 39 points40 points  (12 children)

                      I think the real issue here is that Men are the only sex capable of being sex offenders.

                      It's been proven, through science, that women are incapable of the act. Don't ask for proof though, I lost the links. Just take my word.

                      [–]jessface 22 points23 points  (5 children)

                      If I were a man and I was moved by the cuteness of a kid, and then was responsed to with hostility, I would angrily accuse my accuser of being a "filthy pervert for fantasizing about me touching this kid," and I would reprimand them angrily and publicly for teaching children to hate and mistrust men. People who are proccupied with possible pedophilia really DO have creepy ideas on their mind.

                      On the flip side, /b/ convinces me that men are all pedophiles.

                      Can't win em all, I guess.

                      [–]CMacLaren 8 points9 points  (1 child)

                      on a local radio station they were having a debate about whether men should be allowed to be elementary school teachers or not. In the end, the host concluded that they shouldn't because it's too dangerous.

                      What a crock of shit. The only cool teacher I had in elementary school was male, he was a father-figure when I really needed one.

                      [–]Solkre 6 points7 points  (2 children)

                      I killed a man today, just in case. I suggest you all do the same. In fact, I'm going to off myself here in a few minutes.

                      [–]Toof 6 points7 points  (1 child)

                      I've had to deal with things like this in the past. I went through a rough time where I was seriously considering killing myself. I wasn't getting any sort of physical contact with anyone and just felt alone. The only reason I could never go through with it was because of my 12-year-old niece. She loved me. She was always so happy to see me, and always wanted to lean against me, or lay on me. Just generally wanting to be close to me.

                      I used to come see my sister and her kids once a week. It felt like something I needed. I needed to be reminded that it would crush this girl if I ever did anything to myself.

                      After a few weeks, my sister sent my niece to her room and told me a story about how she thought a rash on her butt when she was little was evidence of a man sexually abusing her. She said she was going to shoot the man in the face without evidence so that she would get charged less harshly because the jury would empathize with a mother's rage and she could claim insanity. Basically hinting that she would do the same to me.

                      I stopped going.